Photo by Jackson Films on Unsplash
Do you remember the Black Mirror episode “Nosedive,” where people’s livelihoods depended on how others rated them? It was essentially an Uber rating that came to life. People’s social standing was their currency, which was determined by their public persona.
In the episode, people faked kindness to score high. This ranged from posting feel-good content online to dousing someone with a bouquet of compliments. Everyone was on their best behavior because everyone was being watched by each other. What made this episode so interesting was that it doesn’t seem far-fetched from our reality.
I found myself in this analytical headspace while waiting in line for my decaf coffee. What prompted this internal dissertation was my For You page. I noticed it was filled with reels of influencers recording themselves through Meta-glasses, buying food for an unhoused person, or pulling a social experiment on a pedestrian in exchange for an award if they “did the right thing.”
Many moons ago, I would watch content like this with a smile. But as I sipped my cup of caffeine, I felt an unusual ick that lingered until I walked back to my apartment. I didn’t quite understand why these videos were getting under my skin. I even asked myself, “Am I just being a hater?” I guess my reservations came from remembering what kindness looked like before social media. When someone’s nice gesture was kind for kind’s sake, not recorded to post for everyone else online.
But let’s be honest, in our societal divide on almost everything, seeing people being kind is a nice reminder of our humanity. And I get it: making these videos and catching interactions in real time with Meta glasses is a good way to make bank. There’s insatiable demand for this content.
But what happens when the influencer’s drive shifts from the people in their content to the money and praise it brings?
The tricky part of sharing this opinion is that it may discourage people from being nice through their camera lenses. To be clear, this essay isn’t calling for this content to be canceled. It’s about how, if we lose sight of the point of kindness, our genuineness will turn into a digital performance.
Here’s an interesting fact: kindness does our hearts good, literally. Studies show biological benefits to acts of kindness and their effects on health. It lowers blood pressure, strengthens your immune system, and helps with your emotional and mental health.
But here’s the thing: according to a Harvard study, these positive effects only work if the intention behind the acts is sincere. Our bodies can tell the difference between a genuine act of kindness and kindness used for ulterior motives. So, that time you volunteered for your community, or when that person in the cafe line was shortchanged and you covered their latte, your body rewarded that authentic, heart-driven gesture with these health benefits.
On the flip side, if someone performs those exact acts with a transactional expectation, the brain clocks it as a stressful task to complete. So, while an influencer might see a return on investment through social media Likes and compensation, the experience can shift from positive to negative effects on their mental, emotional, and physical state. Specifically with the heart, under stress, “blood vessels become constricted, so oxygen-rich blood throughout the body flows more quickly. And this puts us at risk for high blood pressure, heart attack, or strokes.” Not to mention other parts of the body.
Honestly, there’s something beautiful about how the heart cannot be tricked. Good or bad, our bodies keep the score. So on that front alone, we need to get our intentions in the right place, because sooner or later we’ll trick ourselves into believing that optics matter more than the chance to connect with one another.
You might be wondering what the connection is between Meta glasses and how they can negatively affect our acts of kindness.
A BBC article raised the question of whether Meta glasses should be banned, asking whether recording people with these glasses without their consent is ethical. In some places, Meta glasses have been prohibited, and this sentiment seems to be trending toward America, too.
While no U.S. state has legally banned Meta glasses, some private businesses “have prohibited the devices on their premises to protect customer privacy.” Essentially, Meta glasses are popular among influencers because they make constant streaming easy, letting them capture multiple interactions in a day. But this also means capturing strangers on their bad days. It can also make the person filming look for interactions to perform kindness for pay rather than from the heart.
And if Meta glasses become something most people use, it can make us all feel like we’re walking on virtual eggshells. Constantly feeling the need to perform kindness to survive each day, afraid of becoming viral content over a misunderstanding. And faking compassion will not translate into the real thing, and it can even make our hearts worse the more we see compassion as a tactic to survive rather than a virtue to treasure.
Remember in that episode of Black Mirror, when Bryce Dallas Howard’s character, Lacie Pound, was asked to be her frenemy’s maid of honor, but we later learned her frenemy’s motive? She wanted to capitalize on having a 4.2 friend, being seen as humble and down-to-earth, and gaining upvotes from her wedding guests. On the flip side, Lacie was capitalizing, too. She used this as a chance to be close to high-ranking people and achieve her 4.5-star life.
By the end of the scene, neither character’s kind performance granted them what they wanted.
The beautiful blonde didn’t gain humility points from her wedding party, and Lacie didn’t receive a rating that would gain her access to her dream apartment. Their genuine disdain in their hearts for each other erupted, showing that kindness can be performed but can only mask someone’s true emotions for so long.
Sadly, right now, it seems we're becoming Lacie and her frenemy. There’s a contradiction between the niceties displayed in these social media videos and who we seem to be as a nation. Whether we like it or not, studies show that kindness makes us a well-rounded society.
Kindness builds trust among us. It inspires us, connects us to a greater good, and reminds us that we need one another. So maybe today, do something kind for someone.
Don’t record it.
Don’t post it.
Don’t wait for anyone to applaud you.
Just do it.
Let it be something the internet will never know about, but a gesture that person will never forget.
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